WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize