This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
