i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
