I want to stick my p in your. b.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
