Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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