Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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