i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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