What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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