and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
