You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Bring me that man meat
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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