she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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