her vagine was all disorganized.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
