Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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