what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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