? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
