i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
