Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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