Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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