Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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