I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize