worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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