I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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