I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
