Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
