On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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