i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
