So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
