You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
