She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
