my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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