threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
soo... how was my night?
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