He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
