chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
