Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
