I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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