I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How naked do you want me to be?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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