Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
