I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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