So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
