Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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