Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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