Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize