1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
