why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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