so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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