the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
