I need help removing her.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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