real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
