he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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