He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
