so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm too high and old for this...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
