i would punch a child for taco bell
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
