Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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