I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
