Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
