haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
