Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
