so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
