70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
