Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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