drinking out of a sandbucket again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
