Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The Olympian is in my bed
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