After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
