i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Randomize
