the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
