Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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