I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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