I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
